UNILATERAL ADJUSTMENT
In situations involving a conflict between two individuals or groups, the party that is willing to engage in unilateral compromise invariably attains a favorable outcome.
When a dispute arises between two individuals or groups, each party tries to make the other party accept its position or claim and to extract what it regards as its rights from the other party. This method is completely against Nature, however. It only results in a temporary problem turning into an unending one. Not only does the problem not end, but, moreover, new problems arise that make the original problem even more intractable.
There is only one solution to a dispute—and that is unilateral adjustment. The first party to agree to unilateral adjustment is always successful. In contrast, the party that does not agree to this must always pay the price of its stance—and that is, to have to accept with disgrace that very same resolution that it could have agreed upon at the very outset with honour but refused to do so.
In the Quran this principle is explained in these words: ‘Reconciliation is best’ (4:128). In the Quran, these words appear in the context of a marital dispute, but it is a general principle and applies to all aspects of life, be they small or big, personal or collective.
The opposite of reconciliation is war. The psyche of war is that each party wants to obtain what they regard as their right by defeating the other party. In contrast to this, the method of reconciliation is based on the principle of give-and-take. In this method, in case of a dispute, each party tries to ensure that no clash occurs and that the dispute is resolved through peaceful discussion and on the basis of bilateral agreement.
In the case of war, the focus of each party is on what is present. They want to capture what appears to be present in front of them. Those who are obsessed with the war mentality consider the capturing of what is presently available as a victory and the loss of it as defeat. In contrast, a person committed to working for reconciliation focuses on the future, rather than the present. His insight tells him that there exists much more than what presently appears before him, which, although not presently visible, can be obtained through wise action. This foresightedness is the secret of great achievements.
