SUCCESSFUL MARITAL LIFE
According to the laws of nature, in the present world, no one can find anything on an ideal yardstick. For a successful life, we need to be realistic. Success does not come to one with an unrealistic mindset.
Providing guidance for good relations between spouses, the Quran says:
Live with them in accordance with what is fair and kind; if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something which God might make a source of abundant good. (4:19)
This teaching applies to both husbands and wives. From it, one learns that good marital relations do not depend on whether the husband gets a wife who is totally to his liking or that the wife gets a husband who is what she would like ideally. The fact of the matter is that, in accordance with Nature’s laws, for this to happen is just not possible. The secret of a successful marital life lies in adjusting to a spouse who in some respects may not be in accordance with one’s liking. One must search for likable aspects in them amidst aspects that one may not like.
A song by the famous singer Mohammad Rafi (d. 1980) became so popular that it went on to become the heartbeat of many a mother and father. When Mr. Rafi sang the song himself, he began crying, being overwhelmed with emotion.
In this song, a father, bidding farewell to his daughter after marriage recites some verses, some lines of which are as follows:
Babul ki duaaen leti ja,
Ja tujh ko sukhi sansaar mile.
Maike ki kabhi na yaad aye,
Sasural mein itna pyar mile.
Take your father’s blessings and go,
May you obtain a world of joy.
May you get so much love in your in-laws’ home,
That you never remember your parents’ home.
But this message is against the law of Nature. In this present world, no girl or boy can obtain joy and love in this way. This being the case, to present the above sort of joy and love as the yardstick for a successful life for spouses is doing injustice to them because it engenders in them an unrealistic mindset. And in this world, it is simply not possible to lead a successful life on the basis of an unrealistic mindset.
