APPROACH TO
UPBRINGING OF CHILDREN

When practical situations arise within the home, offering the children a choice between the right and wrong paths ensures their proper upbringing.

Once, a gentleman was severely scolded by his neighbour. But he quietly returned home without responding to the person who scolded him. Upon learning about the incident, his son became furious. He exclaimed, “How dare that person humiliate my father? I will teach him a lesson so he never dares to show such audacity again.”

The father managed to calm his son’s anger and said, “After all, he only used some words. He did not physically harm me. So, what is our loss in this? Why should we stoop to his level if he has an abusive tongue? Let’s forget about him and focus on our work.” What could have become a source of grief and a desire for revenge in normal circumstances became an opportunity for patience and tolerance. After a few days, the neighbour himself felt ashamed. He approached them, apologized for his insolence, and behaved well.

If the father had awakened a vengeful spirit in his son, he would have become an agent of evil. However, he became a beacon of goodness and truth by cooling down his son and guiding him toward tolerance. In the words of the Quran, he became a model (imam) for the righteous (25:74).

This exemplifies the essence of upbringing. It is not about allocating specific times to sit with children and delivering lectures or advice to them. When practical situations arise within the home, offering the children a choice between the right and wrong paths ensures their proper upbringing. In such instances, emotions must be controlled, personal losses endured, and the appropriate guidance provided to family members. Their minds should be redirected in the right direction. Upbringing is given within these circumstances, not through preaching sermons.