THE UPBRINGING OF CHILDREN
Parents must train their children and help them develop positive personalities in their formative years. CPS literature and videos serve as an introductory program for this.
In a Western country, a Muslim family expressed their desire for their children to stay with us for a few days and receive an Islamic upbringing. I declined this suggestion. From my perspective, such an approach is artificial. Any meaningful task can only be accomplished naturally, as unnatural methods never yield true benefits.
This brings to mind an incident from April 1981 when I attended an international conference in Barbados. As part of the program organized by the local Muslim community, a gentleman brought his 12-year-old child along with him. The child positioned himself outside the gathering with his back to me. When someone questioned his way of sitting and advised him to join the people inside, the boy nonchalantly responded, “Me not,” meaning: “I don’t care.” This incident holds symbolic significance for all Muslim families in the present era. Nowadays, individuals work hard to earn money and then spend a significant portion of their earnings on their children in the name of love. However, this is not genuine love; it is mere indulgence that profoundly impacts the spoiling of their children.
A child’s first ten years is the “formative period” in psychological terms. This phase holds immense importance as the personality that takes shape during this time has a lasting impact throughout one’s life.
Unfortunately, in today’s world, parents often unknowingly harm their children disguised as love during this formative period.
Based on my experience, the core issue lies in the lack of seriousness among present-day parents regarding their children’s upbringing. Their efforts tend to be superficial, limited to providing Islamic attire such as round caps for boys and scarves for girls. They believe that this alone constitutes a complete Islamic upbringing. However, I offer practical advice for those genuinely concerned about their children’s upbringing.
Firstly, it is crucial to refrain from pampering children in the name of love, just as one would abstain from anything forbidden. Pampering disconnects the child from the realities of life, hindering the development of a realistic approach. Moreover, it fosters a self-centred personality, which becomes a significant obstacle to achieving a successful life.
Furthermore, it is vital to recognize that the child’s initial formative period is spent with the parents. The personality that is formed during this period becomes deeply ingrained. Parents must realize that mistakes made in their child’s upbringing during this phase cannot be easily compensated for in the future. Corrective measures may be possible under exceptional circumstances involving shocking experiences that can become a turning point for him. Although such instances are rare, they can become the cause of a positive revolution in a person. Therefore, providing a nurturing and balanced upbringing during the child’s formative years is crucial.
Based on my experience, I advise parents to diligently introduce our organization’s printed and online material to their children and ask them to read it not just once but repeatedly. Encouraging them to engage with our curated audio and video content is equally essential. These are accessible on our website, details of which can be seen on the last page.
Participating in this introductory program is crucial for parents who are genuinely interested in their children’s upbringing and education. No magical measures can effectively reform children if they are not availed of this opportunity.
