THE BEST WAY OF SETTLEMENT
The Quran points out that the whole material world is a world of peace. Stars are constantly moving, but there is no clash whatsoever between them. According to the Quranic scheme, the same world culture is required of mankind also. In the chapter Al-Nisa’ (Women) the Quran gives guidelines on this subject. The translation of the relevant verse is as follows:
If a woman fears ill-treatment or indifference on the part of her husband, it shall be no offence for her to seek a reconciliation, for reconciliation is best. But people are prone to selfish greed. If you do good and fear Him, surely God is aware of what you do. (4:128)
Here, the Quran enjoins us to adopt the policy of reconciliation in controversial matters. The immediate context of this verse is the resolution of husband-wife differences, but the Quran, by giving a particular reference, gives a general direction. The policy of reconciliation is not only effective for problems between husband and wife, but is equally useful for all other problems, both national and international.
When controversy arises, reconciliation is the best course. That is, you have to adopt a conciliatory rather than a confrontational approach. The conciliatory approach always minimizes the problem, while the confrontational approach aggravates matters, while leaving the initial problem unsolved.
The fact is that you are not living on an isolated island; you are bound to live in society. You have no option other than to live with others, with a family, with a society, with a nation—this list goes on to international affairs. In such a situation, you cannot afford to live on your own. If you become egocentric and ignore other people, you will unnecessarily make others your rivals, so the best policy is to accept others, adopting the policy of adjustment. You have to avoid all kinds of clash, so that you may save your energy and your time.
Adopting the policy of reconciliation is not just a question of being accommodating towards others. It is much more than that. It allows you to continue your journey of life without any break. It saves you from deviation and permits you to dedicate your life more and more to worthy goals.
If you adopt the policy of confrontation, you will very soon discover that there is no end to your difficulties. Arising out of differences, it leads to clashes and clashes will culminate in violence. And, of course, the next stage after violence is war and fighting. The best policy, therefore, is to rid oneself of the confrontational mentality at the very outset.
Adopting the policy of reconciliation is not just a question of being accommodating towards others. It allows you to continue your journey of life without any break.
Conciliatory approach seems to be directed against another person, but in fact the confrontational approach is against the law of nature. It is a man-versus-nature issue rather than a man-versus-man issue. You cannot change the course of nature, so there is no option other than to seek settlement with nature. This is the only way of success in this world.
