In developing our personality, the most important thing for us is to broaden our mind by awakening our consciousness. To awaken our consciousness, we require three things—study, observation and intellectual exchange with other people. Books are the greatest source of knowledge we can study that we have, the world of nature is the greatest source of knowledge that we can observe, and in the matter of intellectual learning, it is essential for us to form the habit of learning from others, and continue in this learning process. A spouse is an immediate intellectual partner. From this point of view, marriage is a great opportunity for intellectual development, as both people can interact with each other and make intellectual progress together. Intellectual development is essential for everyone. Marriage offers just such an ideal opportunity for intellectual partnership.
According to a saying of the Prophet of Islam, men and women are two equal halves of a single unit. The best expression of this equality is that both serve as equal intellectual partners to each other. Husband and wife both are equal partners in carrying on this process of personality development through exchange. Husband and wife are full-time companions, and are available to each other for this purpose, day and night. Through every day intellectual exchange, they increase their creativity, they discover new things, and are partners in mutual learning. Thus they can develop their personality in terms of Tazkia, or purification.
Intellectual exchange is very important. If you engage in study but no intellectual exchange, your knowledge will remain incomplete. Observation will also not complete your knowledge. Exchange is very important. What is the meaning of exchange? God has given a demonstration of it. If two stones collide, a third thing emerges which is sparking. When you collide two stones, a third thing emerges which is sparking. When two minds come together, a third thing emerges -- new ideas, wisdom, and different aspects of a matter. This is very important. I was speaking to Habib Bhai of Hyderabad. I said God has given us a natural intellectual partner, that is, the people of our homes. God has given every person the opportunity to have team 1 and team 2. Team 1 is your family and team 2 comprises of other people. People run after other people, or team 2. But nobody takes interest in team 1. Your family is your team 1. Your family is not meant to speak to them about food, furniture, shopping and outing. These are animal activities.
The greatest importance is of intellectual exchange. I made two points. First, a person's family is a great blessing from God. Why?
The relations you have with your family are based on blood. People outside family are with you due to interest or some other reason. But with your family you have blood relations. These people are very precious. Blood relations are everlasting, they never break.
People of blood relationship are very close to you. You should exchange with them. When did I discover this? There is a tradition in Bukhari in which Hazarat Ayesha said: The Prophet used to wake up at Fajr and before worship he used to speak to me. (Copy Arabic text) (Sahih al-Bukhari 1167)
Some people think Ayesha meant that the Prophet used to narrate hadith to her. "Haddathani" has been interpreted as "the Prophet used to narrate hadith to me". Rather, in the hadith Ayesha says that when I used to be awake, the Prophet used to exchange with me and do intellectual discussion. Two different minds are a great means of intellectual development. You should train your family with whom you have blood relation. This will make your family your intellectual partner. Every member of the family will become your intellectual partner.
