There are two aspects of the ego — the positive and negative. In collective life, be it within the family or in the wider society, it always happens that people face experiences that prick their egos. On such occasions, if a person can control himself — if he can properly handle the issue of ‘ego management’ — he would have used his ego, as it were, in a proper manner. But if his ego is provoked and he lets it affect his entire personality, he will create immense problems for himself, and for others, too. He will have failed in the art of ‘ego management’.
Arrogance and modesty are related to your entire life. If you are walking on the road and you collide with a person, he will come out of his car and begin to shout: Are you blind? Can't you see?
If you are modest, you will bow down and accept your mistake. You will seek forgiveness. If you bow down, the other person too will bow down. If you become arrogant and say: You are blind, not me! At first you both will argue, then begin to fight and finally pelt stones at each other. Both will go to jail. Wherever you are -- on the road or at home -- modesty always pays. Modesty works everywhere. Arrogance never pays. Arrogance doesn’t work anywhere. It may work somewhere but may not work elsewhere, so you will have to then adopt double standards. This is what happens at homes. There is often ego clash between husband and wife. All quarrels at home are due to ego clash. There is no real issue. Arguments, divorce and separation happen mostly due to ego clash.
What is the solution for ego clash?
If the wife is angry, the husband should remain silent. If the husband is angry, the wife should remain silent. If the husband is angry, the wife should avoid. If the wife is angry, the husband should avoid. Within seconds, the issue will get resolved. This is a simple solution. If one shows arrogance, the other will also show arrogance, the result will be separation. Whether the matter concerns home, society or neighbourhood, this formula is applicable everywhere. If you show arrogance, you will never be successful. Matters will only worsen. Arrogance never helps resolve matters. If you show modesty, the problem will be resolved.
