Live with them in accordance with what is fair and kind; if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something which God might make a source of abundant good. (4:19)
In order to enjoy a successful marital life, the Quran gives a practical guide: This Quranic teaching concerns not just husband and wife, but all human relations in general. In this world of God the only effective principle to lead a successful social life is for every person to realize that if one does not appreciate some trait in the other, it is just possible that there may be some other quality in the same person which would be to their liking or advantage. It is, therefore, prudent for everyone to scrupulously overlook the disagreeable feature of the concerned person and accept them on the basis of appreciable qualities.
Realistically, nobody in this world is perfect. Everyone has some inherent shortcoming. The person who comes into direct contact with us gets exposed to us and has no means of concealing this shortcoming; whereas one who remains out of our practical life, is less vulnerable because he escapes this scrutiny. Thus, we imagine and presume that all the others are good except the one associated with us, though on closer acquaintance with others, it becomes evident that the latter are not very different from our partners in marriage.
Inculcating the mentality of adjustment is the right approach. It is this quality of adjustment which makes a person capable of surviving with all kinds of people, and leads him through a fruitful association with others to shape a successful life for himself.
The attitude of leaving one and grabbing another is not correct, and, in any case the quest for perfection is unlikely to succeed. Quran also mentions another extremely useful injunction about adjustment. It says: Reconciliation is best. (4:128) Inculcating the mentality of adjustment is the right approach. It is this quality of adjustment which makes a person capable of surviving with all kinds of people, and leads him through a fruitful association with others to shape a successful life for himself.
